beloved.

i’m not that kind of girl.

you can’t just email me at 11 pm asking to meet me at 11 in the morning.

you can’t just email me expecting me to do work and not having a plan of what exactly we’re going to accomplish.

and i definitely don’t waste half of my saturdays trying to work with self-centered and unorganized people.

working on school projects w/ delinquents = no big deal.

working with delinquents on things i’m passionate about = not okay.

guess i’m leaving your emails unresponded. and when i do decide to reply sometime late tomorrow, i’ll just say how i didn’t read your email in time.

it sucks to be a nice person sometimes. you just get too involved.

petitioned to graduate.

wooop woop. should be hearing back from the graduation committee in 2 weeks. if all works out, i’ll be getting my first degree in may!

haha but yeah…an AA degree will essentially be useless. but at least it’s something to hang on the wall and cry over when i can’t find a job ;)

at least the 2 years i spent “slaving” in community college count for something :)

and at least i get to walk the stage the same year as my high school friends.

oh yeah and san jose state accepted me! my first official acceptance! albeit it was pretty anti-climatic. no balloons or cool animations, etc. ;P just clicked on admission status and saw that it had changed to “admit by self reported data”. ahhhh it’ll be sad to leave san jose, as i’m most likely doing…so many friends that will be staying around, but i’ll leave :( still considering staying in san jose until fall 2013. another year at CC = torturous, but there are so many things to do around here that have been left undone.

behind schedule.

chem test, bio test, bio homework, history readings…

i planned to finish 75% of that by tonight so that i can spend the next 2 days preparing for chem…but what do you know. it was a long weekend :( and i tried to do bio hw, but currently i am too brain dead and exhausted to come up with null hypotheses for an experiment…

essentially i accomplished nothing. and that’s a pretty crappy feeling, being behind schedule. knowing that tomorrow i have 4x the amount of work i was supposed to have. and i hate compromising studying one subject so that i can go study another. hahaha my inner asian has made me an all or nothing kind of person :X i guess there’s nothing left for me to do but sleep. and hope to have a productive day tomorrow.

in other news, i’m recording an album with some fellow musicians for hospice patients through a hospice organization. and that’s been an extremely time consuming process. learning new music, practicing over and over, getting the music down flawlessly, collaborating with others, going to the studio… it has been so much fun, and eye-opening…some people are so much more passionate about music than i am. 

but i would really just like a week where i have absolutely nothing to do. no school (and no upcoming exams…), no meetings, no practices, no events that i get pressured into attending :o… i just want to clean my room, have time to cook food for myself, see friends, visit more college fellowships, and spend more time in devotions. oh life. i love you, but i hate you too.

tired of trying to please everyone :S

in the journey of bettering myself i often find that i try too hard.

today my mom reminded me of jeremy lin’s testimony. how he used to care so much about what people thought about him. but when he realized that he was playing for God, he didn’t worry anymore about winning or losing. thanks for taking me as i am, jesus.

yeeeeeeeeeeaaahh!

just bought tickets to see les miserables over the summer!

going to go with my mom for my 18th birthday! sooo exciting :]

got orchestra seats, midsection, too! -breaks out in happy dance-

ehehe favorite musical just keeps getting better and better every time i see it. 

ahhh definitely going to be the highlight of my summer. considering the rest of it will be spent taking a crash course of calc 1, lol.

CAN’T WAIT FORRR SUMMERRRR :] 

so many parent rants…

haha i log into tumblr every now and then to see what people are posting…and wow! there are a lot of people ranting on their parents today lol! i think i just read like 5+ angry posts.

and then i saw that viral video about the dad responding to his daughter’s facebook post. (which, btw, is somewhat awesome. i am all for innovative ways to teach kids…)

i am just going to say that…i would most likely not hate on my parents in such a public way…for a few reasons

—it makes you look really immature. people who get so angry at their parents are probably rebellious teenagers. and after that certain period of time…you’ll be grateful for your parents’ harsh parenting lols ^^ 

—not good to go so public—you better hope your future employer doesn’t stumble upon that. or your parents’ friends. 

—and many other reasons which i’m just too lazy to type out.

anyhowww, i get angry at my parents, too. but i probably wouldn’t start swearing up a storm in an angry post about how much i hate them. i don’t think that’s representative of who i am as an individual—a few hours or days later, i’ll go back to loving them.

yup! you’ll never read this mom and dad, but thanks for your strange parenting which is pretty close to the viral dad video minus the guns :]

FINISHEDDD!!!

FINALLYYYY finished compiling the last of my supplements/apps.

never in my life have i seen an application as detailed as sfsu’s. resume, personal statement, transcripts, proof of enrollment, supplemental forms, ASSIST equivalencies, AP scores, and MORE. package weighs like 3 pounds LOL. i will be quite excited to drop off the giant yellow envelope tomorrow at the post office :)

alas. the college admissions process is pretty much over.

[well…i kinda gave up on my biola app…but maybe i’ll finish it if i really want to]

and now begins the wait -___- sounds like freshman admits already heard back from some schools…oh how i would love to open my mailbox to see a real acceptance letter :) but they say transfers don’t get a response until april :(

and now i face a pretty big decision…to stay another year at CC or to go?

Standing here, beneath the shadow of the cross;
I am overwhelmed, that I keep finding open arms. 

so comforting.

You’re My Beloved
You’re My Bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love

You’re Beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me

Under My mercy
Come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you
My child

You’re Beautiful to Me 
So Beautiful to Me

I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your care down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me

I’ll breathe My life inside of you
I’ll bear you up on eagle’s wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I’ll take you to My quiet waters
I’ll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole

You’re My beloved
You’re My Bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love